CD Review: Nightwish - Dark Passion Play

Well Nightwish fans, this may not be the review you've been waiting for unless you are one of the six loyal readers of this crummy excuse for a blog, but here it is anyway, you bastards.

Okay. Everyone knows that vocalist Tarja Turunen was given the boot. Her replacement is a young lady from Sweden named Anette Olzon. The rest of the Finnish symphonic metal band, bassist/vocalist Marco Hietala, guitarist Emppu Vuorinen, drummer Jukka Nevalainen and keyboardist/main songwriter/producer Tuomas Holopainen are back to show that they are more than capable of carrying on with a new voice on their new release, Dark Passion Play.

So, how did they do? The songs:

The Poet and the Pendulum – The first track is a 14-minute masterpiece that features quiet soprano solos accompanied by violin, oboe and piano, a surging orchestra and the voice of new singer Anette Olzon. Her delivery is solid and and urgent at times. Bassist Marco Hietala also lends his pipes to the song in one passage where his mad wails are driven by the buzzsaw riffs Emppu supplies. The song ends with Tuomas gently playing the piano to the fadeout.

Bye Bye Beautiful – This song starts of with Anette singing sweetly, but Marco takes over with an angry delivery that seems to be aimed at Tarja. The band pumps the rhythm out to make their point.

Amaranth – This is the first US single, and it is a catchy song. Anette’s voice soars over the band in both the verses and choruses, and the band clamps down tight, mainly fueled by Emppu’s riffs.

The Cadence of Her Last Breath – A bit more punchy that Amaranth, Anette once again soars over the cacophony of the band. Emppu takes his first proper lead break, and it is a quick, piercing piece that ends in a flurry of squeals. The urgency of this track will likely eliminate it as a candidate to become a single.

Master Passion Greed – A monster track that mixes grinding metal riffs with the orchestra. Marco’s vocals drive this song, and, as he holds the heavy bottom down on bass, he is more than up to the task of battling Emppu’s riffs and Jukka’s powerful drums. Easily a match for Dead Gardens in the heaviest Nightwish song ever.

Eva – A slow, sentimental ballad guided by Anette’s sad vocals and the gentle strains of the orchestra. Emppu plays a lean, crying solo to counter Anette’s laments.

Sahara – This plodding song shows the darker side of Anette’s vocals. The interplay between the band and the orchestra in the middle of the song give an eastern feel as the choir assists Anette before the song slows for a bit before getting back in step. The song ends with Anette chanting to the heavy riffs and mighty orchestra.

Whoever Brings the Night – Starts fast with a guitar riff and matching bass line before Anette comes in, but even darker than on Sahara. She is accompanied by the choir on the choruses. The middle of the song is dominated by the alternating choir/orchestra interplay with Anette’s sneering delivery before the band kicks back in. Emppu fires off a short solo with Jukka hammering away behind him before the main melody re-asserts itself as the song ends.

For The Heart I Once Had – The sweet Anette returns as she gets back into her higher register for this sad song. Alternating between heavy and subtle, the band plays it smart and lets Anette’s multi-tracked voice guide things, then joins in when appropriate. Emppu provides a couple of nice fills. The middle quiets as Anette softly sings over Tuomas’s quiet piano before the band notches it back up as they bring it up a step and push Anette’s voice. She is up to the challenge and guides the band to the song’s end.

The Islander – A folky, acoustic piece that features Marco on vocals. He sounds a lot like Ian Anderson of Jethro Tull as he sings over Emppu’s dexterous guitar and the an Irish-sounding flute. Anette joins Marco on the second verse, but she does not overpower, and the mix works as Emppu strums on. After a brief violin solo, Marco, Anette and Emppu go back for another chorus which ends as the guitar, flute, violin and soft drums fade the song to its end.

Last of the Wilds – This instrumental track comes in as The Islander fades out. It starts out with some Celtic style violin before the band jumps in with vigor. The first riff repeats with Tuomas playing along with the violin as Marco pings away on the bass. Emppu joins in with some heavy riffs as Jukka slams away on the drums. Emppu fires off a sidewinding solo between the violin and keyboards. A quiet space with gentle harpsichord and flute comes in before the band re-enters with Emppu seemingly dueling with the violinist. The quiet again descends as the harpsichord plays everything out.

Seven Days to the Wolves – This song shifts things back into slow burn mode. Anette sings with sharpness on the verses and Marco joins her on the choruses. The orchestra pitches in with the band and Emppu plays a soaring solo into a tempo shift powered by Jukka’s steadiness. The orchestra comes back in, and a short violin solo gives way to Emppu’s heavy riffs as Anette comes back before another round of repeating choruses gives way to a quicker version of the main melody to bring the song to its end.

Meadows of Heaven – This song starts with quiet violin and piano as Anette sings the sad words of hope. The vocal choir and orchestra join her on the second chorus. After a slow flute/violin passage, Anette guides the choir in another verse before Emppu slices through with a trembling solo before Anette comes back with another verse. The last two minutes of the song are truly uplifting as Anette sings the refrain over some of the sharp individual voices of the choir while the orchestra sweeps it all up.

This CD is a hell of a statement. It picks up where 2004's Once left off, and carries it off into the distance. To say that Tuomas pulled out all the stops with this project would be an exercise in understatement. The direction in which the band is headed seems clear, as evidenced by the increasing use of philharmonic orchestras and vocal choirs. While this gives the music a fuller, grander sound, it takes away from the band itself, in particular guitarist Emppu Vuorinen (but maybe that's just my guitar player's bias showing). Still, if you liked Once, you should like these songs.

But what about Anette? The comparisons to Tarja are unavoidable. Her voice definitely doesn't have Tarja's high end, but she might have just a bit more versatility to her voice. She doesn't sound as deliberate as Tarja sometimes did, and she seems to be able to handle the more exotic passages Tuomas writes and arranges as well as Tarja. That having been said, I think Anette will be fine as long as people pay attention to what she can do as opposed to what she cannot do. Marco also stepped it up, carrying a bit more of the vocal duties to provide a nice contrast with Anette throughout the CD.

To wrap it up, the band happens to be on tour in this area, and I am fortunate enough to be heading out to see them this Saturday at the Palladium in Worcester (Followed by H.I.M. at the same venue on Sunday. It's gonna be a hell of a weekend!). I hope to see some of you there!

Saturn's Weather Forecast: Methane Rain

Scientists have discovered that it can rain on Titan, Saturn's largest moon, and that the rain falls in the form of liquid methane. Yahoo News Reuters excerpt:

CHICAGO (Reuters) - The daily weather forecast on Saturn's largest moon Titan appears to be a steady drizzle of liquid methane, at least around the bright, exotically named region known as Xanadu, U.S. researchers said on Thursday.

But this is hardly the paradise romanticized by the Samuel Taylor Coleridge poem "Kubla Kahn."

New images from Hawaii's W.M. Keck Observatory and Chile's Very Large Telescope show nearly global cloud cover at high elevations and a dreary morning drizzle that seems to dissipate around midmorning local time -- which is about three Earth days after sunrise.

Scientists had expected rain in the atmosphere of this planet-sized moon, but these near-infrared images for the first time have revealed a persistent drizzle of methane off the western foothills of Xanadu.

"We expected that perhaps it was raining. It was reasonable that it could be raining. We just didn't know if it was raining right now," said Mate Adamkovics, a University of California, Berkeley researcher whose paper appears in the journal Science.

Titan is larger than the planet Mercury, but much, much colder, with surface temperatures of minus 297 degrees Fahrenheit (minus 183 degrees Celsius) -- cold enough to turn an explosive gas like methane into a liquid form.

"The question is, is it liquid methane that is sitting in a cloud, or is it falling through the sky," Adamkovics said in a telephone interview. His hunch is that it is falling, given the massive size of these raindrops, which Adamkovics believes are about 1,000 times bigger than rain on Earth.

"Because there is a bit less gravity and the atmosphere is thicker on Titan, the rain drops and the cloud drops are really big," he said. Whereas raindrops on Earth are micrometer sized, he said on Titan they appear to be a millimeter or bigger in size. "The droplet gets so big it can't hold itself together anymore," Adamkovics said.

I don't know about that. It rained like a bastard here for about two hours, and the raindrops I saw were a hell of a lot bigger than a millimeter, and they seemed to hold together quite nicely as they crashed into the roof of my wage-slavery containment facility. At least the rain has now stopped, and the skies have cleared, which means that the first game of the American League Championship series between the Red Sox and Indians at Fenway Park will at least be somewhat dry...

He and colleagues are now speculating about just what is causing the rain, and whether it follows weather patterns similar to those on Earth.

Xanadu, a region about the size of Australia, was first discovered in 1994 by NASA's Hubble Space Telescope.

I heard this story on NPR as I drove home, and it appears that there are also lakes of methane around this region. Some scientists think that Titan's environment is similar to models of early Earth, before outgassing occurred and the oceans formed. If this is true (or even if it is not), then we have a real life laboratory experiment just waiting to be conducted.

Full Story

CD Review: Venus Doom by H.I.M.

Nearly two years have passed since Finnish gloom gods H.I.M. released Dark Light, and they have gone back to the sound they had on 2004's Love Metal, only harder and more raw. The band personnel remain intact: Ville Valo on vocals, Linde on guitar, Burton on keyboards, Mige on bass and Gas on the drums. Tim Palmer is once again the producer, but this time, Hiili Hiilesmaa, who produced Love Metal, is back on board as the co-producer, which may account for the band re-asserting its heavier side.

The songs:

Venus Doom – Starts out fast, heavy and raw with Valo belting out the words with his usual breathless urgency. About halfway through, a guitar solo is followed by a bit of quiet with only the sound of a music box to accompany Valo’s deep voice before the song kicks back into gear with some nice keyboard effects to go with the guitar feedback as the song ends.

Love in Cold Blood – A bit slower and more deliberate, with multi-tracked vocals on the choruses. A nimble-fingered guitar lead breaks things up, then leads it all back to the main melody for a few measures until the outro kicks in to the end with wah-wah fueled guitar, heavy drums and bass with shimmering keyboards adorning the soundscape.

Passion’s Killing Floor – Another mid-tempo track , this one begins with a repetitive guitar riff with some soft keys laid on top until the verses and infectious choruses take over (“My heart’s a graveyard baby / and to evil we make love / on out passion’s killing floor….). Then, the song slows into a dirge-like riff for a few beats until the main melody kicks back in. This song would make a great single if not for that small blemish.

The Kiss of Dawn – And speaking of singles, this is the first one off the CD. It begins with a choppy guitar riff and heavy bass and drums as Valo drags his words out slowly before the chorus (Reachin’ for your shadow drowning in…the kiss of dawn / touchin’ the pain that you left me with…at the kiss of dawn…). A quick, chaotic, effects-driven solo churns things up, then the main melody returns for a few measures before things quiet for a bit before slowly revving back up as the song fades out over Valo’s lamentations and Linde’s feedback.

Sleepwalking Past Hope – This ten-minute epic starts with some soft piano followed by a distorted pick scrape that goes right into a heavy riff helped out by the drums and bass before Valo limps in. The choruses about love and love lost cry over Burton’s piano notes. About three and a half minutes in, the guitar riff changes for a few beats until the solo chews its way through, powered by the drums and bass. Approaching the five minute mark, Valo mumbles his pain to the bass and light piano for a few measures until the guitar and drums grind their way back into the mix. At 6:30, the tempo shifts into overdrive as Linde launches a short solo that leads back to the pain of the main melody. As we approach the eight-minute mark, a new guitar riff takes over, accompanied by some spacey keyboards and almost latin-sounding percussion as Valo cries over the maelstrom. Simply a masterpiece!

Dead Lovers Lane – Another mix of soft keyboards, heavy guitar, pulsing bass and heavy drums to Valo’s lyrics of warning (Fear has a name…written on unhallowed ground with dead leaves…those words never fail to feed the hunger that feeds and needs above love’s grasp…). Midway through, after a short flurry on the bass, Linde takes a short, fiery solo that ends quickly to some light piano before a crunching guitar riff asserts itself to bring the main melody back before the song ends.

Song or Suicide – A 70-second bit of Valo’s longing accompanied by a lone acoustic guitar. I won’t print a lyric excerpt. Instead I’ll just hope that Valo isn’t really this depressed!

Bleed Well – Starts out with fire and quickly digs a heavy groove. The verses and choruses are punchy and to the point with the whole band in the pocket. A little more than halfway through, the riff changes with some keyboard counterpart before a nimble solo that degenerates into feedback as Valo yells it out to the end.

Cyanide Sun – Starts with a slow, heavy, Sabbath-like guitar riff with an eastern-sounding tinge. Valo comes in quietly as the rhythm simmers underneath. After a few verses and choruses, Linde and Burton supply a psychedelic feel with heavy bombast before sudden acoustic quiet accompanies Valo’s almost crooning outro.

The differences between Venus Doom and Dark Light are quickly apparent. The same applies to the comparison with Love Metal. Venus Doom's songs are heavier and longer than was the case with Dark Light, and the poppy atmosphere that guided that CD is all but gone. In addition to the grinding heaviness, the songs take on a jam-like feel in some places as the band is clearly trying to stretch out. I think this may be Hiilesmaa's influence at work.

As the individual performances go, Linde really steps up on this CD. Instead of simply playing riffs as he did on Dark Light, he takes a lot of lead breaks and throws a lot of fiery wah-wah fueled licks around as if he feels that he'd better get it all out now while he can. Gas hammers away on the drums, and shows a bit more dexterity than on some of the previous outings. Burton is his usual spectacular self, providing a surreal atmosphere, and Mige holds the bottom down as tightly as ever. Valo, the master of gloom, does what he does best, whether it is by whining in an almost breathless manner, or by growling in his lower register to evoke his dark images. This CD is more than a return to the heaviness of Love Metal, it has surpassed it with a good deal more swagger as this band is solidly locked in.

The bottom line is that this is a terrific collection of songs that any H.I.M. follower should love. I can't wait to hear how they pull it together on stage, as they will be appearing at the Worcester Palladium on Sunday October 21st in what promises to be a killer show.

Major League Baseball Roundup

Well folks, I'm back at the keyboard of my new beast, ready to blog at you once again. Things have been a bit frantic down on the Farm lately as some home improvement projects have been coming together nicely.

But enough about that. It's time for some post-season baseball, which is even more fun for me since the Red Sox finished first in the American League East for the first time since 1995. The Sox begin their quest for the 2007 World Series championship tomorrow night when the Anaheim Angels come to Fenway. The other AL Division Series features the Cleveland Indians versus the New York Yankees.

The National League had some exciting finishes down the stretch with the Philadelphia Phillies not only sneaking the NL East title from the New York Mets, but denying them a post-season berth in the process. And the Colorado Rockies, who won 14 of their last 15 games, including an exciting 9-8, 13-inning thriller in the playoff game against the San Diego Padres to win the Wild Card, will play the Phils.

By the way, why was there a playoff game to determine this? The reason I ask is that because in 2005, the Red Sox and Yankees both finished at 95-67, in a tie for first place. However, the baseball gods decided that because the Yankees had the superior head-to-head record (10-9), that they would be awarded first place, and the Red Sox second place (and the Wild Card). The Rockies had an 11-8 record against the Padres, so, by 2005 logic, they should have automatically been awarded their spot without having had to play the Padres one more time. Right? I'm just sayin'...

And Lou Piniella's Chicago Cubs take on the Arizona Diamondbacks, who somehow had the best record in the NL at 90-72, despite having been outscored by their opponents by 20 runs for the season. By way of comparison, the Red Sox outscored their opponents by 210 runs (which led all major league clubs). The Indians were +107 while the Angels and Yankees were both at +91. The other NL playoff teams: Phillies +71, Cubs +72 and Rockies were at +102, which led the National League!

2007 was a season of milestones and records either having been broken or tied. Barry Bonds passed Henry Aaron as the all-time home run leader, and has 762 (and he hit his 600th career double and got his 2,500th career walk to boot). Sammy Sosa hit his 600th career homer. Frank Thomas, Alex Rodriguez and Jim Thome (who also struck out for the 2,000th time in his career) each hit their 500th career homers. Todd Helton hit his 300th career homer. Craig Biggio got his 3,000th career hit, but will retire two shy of Hughie Jennings' career record for most times having been hit by a pitch (287-285). Ken Griffey Junior, Gary Sheffield and Luis Gonzalez each collected their 2,500th career hits. Larry Jones, Johnny Damon and Shawn Green each collected their 2,000th career hits. Ivan Rodriguez got his 500th career double. Ray Durham hit his 400th career double. Ten players notched their 300th career double.

On the pitching side of things, William Clemens got his 350th career win (and his 700th career start), and Tom Glavine notched his 300th victory and 2,500th career strikeout. Mike Mussina got his 250th win (and his 500th career start). John Smoltz and Andy Pettite each win their 200th career games. Jose Mesa, Mike Timlin and Roberto Hernandez all appeared in their 1,000th career games. Trevor Hoffman got his 500th career save, and Todd Jones got his 300th. Pedro Martinez got his 3,000th career strikeout while Jamie Moyer got his 2,000th. Greg Maddux, like Clemens, got his 700th career start.

Some other interesting things happened. Frank Schulte of the 1911 Cubs became the first player ever to have 20 homers, doubles, triples and stolen bases in the same season. Willie Mays was the second player to accomplish this feat, having done so in 1957. This season, they were joined by Curtis Granderson of the Tigers and Jimmy Rollins of the Phillies.

Ryan Howard of the Phillies struck out 199 times to break Adam Dunn's 2004 record of 195. And Matt Holliday of the Rockies won the NL batting title with a .340 average while striking out 126 times. That is the most strikeouts for anyone who ever won a batting title. The previous record holder was Derrek Lee of the Cubs who whiffed 109 times while hitting .335 in 2005. I love odd combinations like this, and here is another one: The Tampa Bay Devil Rays became the first team ever to have its pitchers lead the league in strikeouts while at the same time having the worst ERA (How do1194 strikeouts and a 5.53 ERA grab you? No wonder they went 66-96...).

Kevin Youkilis of the Red Sox did not make a single error at first base this season (in 1080 chances over 135 games, though he did make three errors at third base in 13 games). Even more remarkable than that, Placido Polanco of the Tigers handled 683 chances over 141 games at second base without making a single error (and he had 200 hits!).

Well, I could probably go on like this for some time, but I will stop now, since I am in the midst of evaluating my newest music purchases: Venus Doom by H.I.M., Dark Passion Play by Nightwish and After Forever's self-titled release, and reviews will be coming soon. Nightwish and H.I.M will be at the Palladium in Worcester on October 20th and 21st. I hope to see some of you there!

"Dead" Man Wakes Up Under Autopsy Knife

This post is straight out of Stephen King or Edgar Allan Poe short story. Some poor guy was in a car accident, pronounced dead at the scene and taken to the morgue where an autopsy was started. The medical examiners quickly realized something was not right... Bizarre Reuters story:

CARACAS (Reuters) - A Venezuelan man who had been declared dead woke up in the morgue in excruciating pain after medical examiners began their autopsy.

Carlos Camejo, 33, was declared dead after a highway accident and taken to the morgue, where examiners began an autopsy only to realize something was amiss when he started bleeding. They quickly sought to stitch up the incision on his face.

"I woke up because the pain was unbearable," Camejo said, according to a report on Friday in leading local newspaper El Universal.

His grieving wife turned up at the morgue to identify her husband's body only to find him moved into a corridor -- and alive.

Reuters could not immediately reach hospital officials to confirm the events. But Camejo showed the newspaper his facial scar and a document ordering the autopsy.

Wow. It seems that Mr. Camejo is lucky in that the medical examiners realized that he was still alive, but unlucky in that the folks at the accident scene screwed up BIGTIME. I can't even imagine the helplessness Mr. Camejo must have felt as his autopsy got started; the excruciating pain he must have felt. Here's hoping for a quick and full recovery for Mr. Camejo.

Full Story Link

Kathy Griffin Offends Jesus and His Followers. "Hurtful" Remarks to be Censored out of Awards Show.

Kathy Griffin made what some construe as offensive remarks towards Jesus as part of her acceptance speech for winning an award for her reality cable series. Yahoo News Reuters excerpt:

LOS ANGELES (Reuters) - Comic Kathy Griffin's "offensive" remarks about Jesus at the Creative Arts Emmy Awards will be cut from a pre-taped telecast of the show, the Academy of Television Arts and Sciences said on Tuesday.

Griffin made the provocative comment on Saturday night as she took the stage of the Shrine Auditorium to collect her Emmy for best reality program for her Bravo channel show "My Life on the D-List."

"A lot of people come up here and thank Jesus for this award. I want you to know that no one had less to do with this award than Jesus," an exultant Griffin said, holding up her statuette. "Suck it, Jesus. This award is my god now."
Asked about her speech backstage a short time later, an unrepentant Griffin added, "I hope I offended some people. I didn't want to win the Emmy for nothing."

The speech drew fire from a leading Roman Catholic group, the Catholic League for Religious and Civil Rights, which condemned Griffin's remarks as "obscene and blasphemous."

"It is a sure bet that if Griffin had said, 'Suck it, Muhammad,' there would have been a very different reaction," Catholic league president Bill Donohue said in a statement posted on the group's Web site. He called on TV academy president Dick Askin to denounce Griffin's "hate speech" and on Griffin to apologize.

Griffin's reaction to the imbroglio, according to a statement issued by her publicist: "Am I the only Catholic left with a sense of humor?"

Good question. Especially in light of Mr. Donahue's remark that makes it apparent that he'd have found no problem with her having attacked Muhammad in her speech instead of Jeshua ben Yosef.

As someone who was raised as a Roman Catholic (Extremely lapsed. I left the Church way back in high school), I am apparently supposed to be as offended as Mr. Donahue is at what Ms. Griffin said. I'm not. Not in the least. And not because I am a fan of Ms. Griffin or her work. In fact, I find her routine shallow and pedantic, and her persona to be shrill and abrasive. However, she is perfectly within her First Amendment rights to point out the phony piety of performers who thank Jesus for their good fortune when receiving awards, but seem to forget Christ's message the other 364 days of the year (drug busts, physical abuse, etc.). At least that is how I read her words.

It's sort of like what Jim Bouton wrote in "Ball Four" when he expressed a similar discomfort with the way his fellow baseball players and other athletes praised Jesus for their victories, while he secretly harbored a desire to say (paraphrasing) "It was my muscles, not Jesus" as the reason for his success.

It's all simple semantics, so can't everyone just chill and stop waiting to be offended by meaningless things like this?

Full Story

Daddy's Got a New PC!

It's the HP Pavilion a6130n. System characteristics: 300GB hard drive, AMD Athlon 64 X2 Dual Core Processor with CD/DVD Read/Write, 3GB RAM (That's right!) and a 17-inch flat screen monitor (Model vp17). Oh yes, and an HP Deskjet 4180 printer/copier/scanner (which has GOT to be better than that Lexmark POS I had which would have made a decent anchor).

Want to talk about speed? The damned thing SCREAMS!!! My old rig was a Dell Dimension L550 that I bought in 2000. It ran Windows 98, had a 10GB hard drive and 128MB RAM. Thanks to a slight upgrade to 192 MB a couple of years ago, courtesy of Ken Kanniff, Connecticut's Most Wanted, and an upgrade from Dial-Up to DSL, I entered the late 20th century by the middle of the first decade of the 21st.

But I am behind the curve no more! And no, I won't tell you about the obscenely good deal I got as part of a Labor Day promotion at Circuit City. Suffice it to say that I spent about $300.00 less on this rig than I did on the Dell back in 2000.

Anyway, that's all for now. I'll try to get something more going on this pitiful excuse for a blog. And Helena, thanks for your comment on my Philip Lynott post. You bring the number of commenters to seven! Please stop by again!

Chipper Jones Blasts Umps in Braves Loss

Atlanta Braves third baseman, Larry "Chipper" Jones, was none too happy with the way the umpires in last night's 5-2 loss to the Philadelphia Phillies called balls and strikes, and he is calling on MLB to do something about it. ESPN News AP wire excerpt:

ATLANTA -- Not long after the Atlanta Braves lost for the 10th time in 14 games, Chipper Jones had some choice words for home plate umpire Rick Reed.

The Braves struck out six times in a 5-2 loss to Philadelphia on Tuesday night, continuing their descent in the NL East.

Jones hit a solo homer in the fourth and accounted for another RBI in the fifth when he walked with the bases loaded. He did not strike out in the game, but his at-bat against Phillies starter Kyle Lohse in the fifth made him furious.

"The first pitch to me with the bases loaded was in my batter's box, inside," Jones told reporters after the game. "Now you tell me how I'm supposed to hit that. We have to get Questec here in this ballpark. We've got to. Umpires have got to be held accountable. That's Little League World Series stuff right there."

"It's a joke," Jones said. "I'm tired of it. And baseball can fine me whatever they want. I do not care. Somebody's got to say something. I've got more walks than strikeouts in my career -- I know what a strike looks like."

What Larry is referring to is the Questec camera system that was installed in about a dozen major league ballparks beginning about five or six years ago. This brings up the question of instant replay. I don't think instant replay is a good idea, or even a necessary one as far as calling balls and strikes is concerned. Games are, in most people's minds, far too long as they are, and to stop the game over a questionable pitch a dozen or so times a game would drive fans away.

The people who manage the umpires should be analyzing the Questec logs, and adopt that system in all the ballparks, then use that information to grade the umps and, if necessary, get the bad umps additional training (by way of demotion to the minors or fire them for their incompetence. Too harsh? Players make their living, in large part, based on how the umps call the games. If a player slips, is he not subject to demotion, trade or release? Then why not have the same arrangement for umpires?

Now, as far as using instant replay on situations like fan interference, fair or foul, home run or wall scraper, tag or missed tag, etc., I am all for that. There are dozens of instances in which championships were decided because of shitty calls. The St. Louis Cardinals lost the 1985 World Series because of a lousy call at first base in the ninth inning of Game Six. The Baltimore Orioles lost a game in the 1997 ALCS to the Yankees because of the Jeffrey Maier "home run" ball that Derek Jeter hit, which everyone watching the game knew was interference but the right field ump, Richie Garcia, who laughed about his mistake afterwards (Not to mention the way the Red Sox got ripped off in the 1999 ALCS with the Yankees when Jose Offerman was called out on a tag play in which Chuck Knoblauch missed Offerman by five feet. Not that I'm bitter about that...). We don't need that type of arrogance. Instant replay should not be viewed as a tool to show up the umps, but rather an assistant to help them make difficult calls, and to get those calls right. Omissioner Bud Selig must wake up and get this vital 20th century technology into the game before the 21st century gets much older.

As for Larry and his complaint, hey man, I hear ya, especially after Josh Beckett got stiffed in his start in Yankee Stadium last weekend. At one point Beckett threw five straight strikes to Melky Cabrera and walked him. The next batter, Johnny Damon hit a single for an RBI, so yeah, I can see where you are coming from. Still, it seems a bit ironic that, after having been part of a team that got away with the type of shit about which you now choose to complain, what with Javy Lopez setting up in the opposite batters box for Tom Glavine, and Eddie Perez doing the same for Greg Maddux and getting ridiculous strike calls for ten years, you now want the umps to call the strike zone fairly. Well, good luck with that, Larry.

Full Story

Buchholz Tosses No-Hitter at Orioles. Timlin Reaches Milestone.

Red Sox rookie right-hander Clay Buchholz threw a no-hitter last night in his second major league start, beating the Orioles 10-0 at Fenway.

The kid was throwing some nasty stuff that included fastballs that reached 92 MPH, looping curves and changeups that dropped from the knees to the dirt. He threw 115 pitches, struck out nine, walked three and hit one batter. He was helped defensively by second baseman Dustin Pedroia who, in the top of the seventh, dove for a ball up the middle off the bat of Miguel Tejada to throw him out and keep the drama moving.

The funny thing was that Buchholz was given this start because Tim Wakefield was unable to pitch on Friday night, which moved Saturday's scheduled starter Julian Tavarez up one day, necessitating the call for the rookie.

Buchholz is the third Red Sox pitcher to throw a no-hitter this millennium (Derek Lowe versus the Deviled Eggs in 2002 and Hideo Nomo versus the Orioles in 2001 were the others).

Buchholz started the season at Double-A, pitched well there for two months and was moved up to Triple-A, and was called up to the big club for a start against the Angels a couple of weeks ago which he won. I wasn't thrilled about the way the Sox seemed to be rushing him, but injuries to Curt Schilling, and their inexplicably dumb trade of Joel Piniero to the Cardinals (3-2 in six starts with a 3.71 ERA) for the infamous Player To Be Named Later made it damned near impossible for the Sox not to bring him along.

So congratulations to Red Sox rookie Clay Buchholz, who, let the record show, has one (1) more no-hitter than William Roger (The Mercenary) Clemens.

And speaking of records, congratulations to Red Sox reliever Mike Timlin who made his 1,000th career appearance in Friday night's game, becoming just the 13th major league pitcher to reach the milestone.

Beware of Exagerrated Mars Information!

The following excerpt is from an email I received today from a co-worker who wants to know if the details are true. Let's take a look at the unaltered original text...

Two moons on 27 August, 2007. 27th Aug the Whole World is waiting for... Planet Mars will be the brightest in the night sky starting August. It will look as large as the full moon to the naked eye. This will cultivate on Aug. 27, 2007 when Mars comes within 34.65M miles of earth. Be sure to watch the sky on Aug. 27, 12:30 am. It will look like the earth has 2 moons. The next time Mars may come this close is in 2287. Share this with your friends as NO ONE ALIVE TODAY will ever see it again.

Forgetting for a moment that the typist probably meant to use the word "culminate" rather than "cultivate", this message is, as my grandfather used to say "full of old shoes".

Mars is currently in Taurus, and is shining at magnitude +0.4 (which is brighter than all but eight of the brightest stars), but it is a mere 7.8 arc seconds wide. What the message refers to took place in August 2003 when Mars was shining at magnitude -2.9 and was 25 arc seconds wide, while moving through Capricornus.

However, the sender did get two things right, the first being that Mars, in August 2003, was as close as it has been, (and will be) in a long time, but it was nowhere near as large as the full Moon. The full Moon is roughly 2000 arc seconds wide, or 80 times the apparent size of Mars at its biggest and closest. For Mars to appear as large as the full Moon in our skies, it would be a mere 433,125 miles away (the Moon is 240,000 miles away) rather than the 34.65 million the sender gives (which was also correct).

I get messages like this from time to time because people know that astronomy is one of my hobbies, and I have gotten variations on this particular theme in the summer of 2005 as well, so I feel it is my duty to correct things as best I can from this humble vantage point. Feel free to pass this on to anyone else who could be potentially duped by this mis-information. And a tip of the hat to Jesse for sending me the message which got this ball rolling.

Celebrate Philip Lynott's Birthday

Today would have been Philip Lynott's 58th birthday. To celebrate the late Thin Lizzy leader's life, why not peruse this old piece I posted back in 2005 about the greatness of the man, and the band. I also plan to indulge in my Lizzy library, and take a tour of the Internets to see and hear the hidden treasures of the YouTube-a-verse (already found excellent live versions of Cold Sweat and The Sun Goes Down from 1983's Farewell Tour).

Cheers

Bonds Hits Number 756 to Move Past Aaron. Lucky Fan from Queens Ends Up With the Ball.

By now, everybody has heard that Barry Bonds hit career homer number 756 last night as the Giants lost to the Washington Nationals at Lefty O'Doul Stadium. But this post is more about the lucky fan who caught the ball, and what he went through to keep it. Yahoo News AP wire excerpt:

SAN FRANCISCO (AP) -- With the crack of the bat a brief stillness settled over the right-center field bleachers at AT&T Park as Barry Bonds' record-breaking homer rocketed toward the crowd.

Then the scrum was on.

As the specially marked baseball landed a few rows up in the fifth inning Tuesday night, dozens of fans wrestled for it and the promise of riches it carried. Suddenly, the metal bleachers vibrated with energy. Grunts, cheers and the cries of frightened children broke the silence as parents sought to shield their youngsters from the chaos.

In the middle of it all was 22-year-old New Yorker Matt Murphy, who emerged from beneath the pile holding the ball Bonds hit for career home run No. 756. His face was bloodied and his clothes stretched and torn from his battle in the bleachers.

A team of San Francisco police officers moved in, extracted Murphy from the crowd, and quickly led him through a tunnel and into a secure room.

As he high-fived other fans, Murphy, wearing a New York Mets jersey and cap, slid the ball into the back pocket of his plaid Bermuda shorts. Reporters screamed questions, but all he managed to say was, "I'm Matt Murphy from Queens, N.Y."

Murphy and a friend were en route to Australia and in San Francisco for a one-day layover, a Giants spokesman said. They purchased tickets just before the game. Murphy declined to make himself available to the media.

Baseball memorabilia experts have pegged the ball's value at $400,000 to $500,000. That's well below the $3.3 million fetched by Mark McGwire's 70th home run ball in 1998.

Unbelievable. How on earth were tickets still available for this game, and how much did these guys pay to purchase them? Hell, when the Giants were in town to play the Red Sox in mid-June everyone already knew that every ticket had been snatched up (Barry hit his 14th of the year, number 748 overall in the last game of the series), and some of those were going for $2,000.00! But if these guys can afford the air fare to Australia ($5,300, round-trip back in January 2005 for my trip), then a little extra cash to have a chance to see history being made was probably not an issue.

Congratulations to Mr. Murphy, and to Mr. Bonds. Barry, you are still 112 homers shy of the all-time professional home run leader, Sadaharu Oh who clubbed 868 for the Tokyo Giants from 1959-1980.

Glavine Notches 300th Win

Tom Glavine won his 300th major league game last night as the Mets beat the Cubs at Wrigley Field 8-3. Yahoo News AP wire excerpt:

CHICAGO - Tom Glavine knows exactly why his 300th win should be savored. "If I was the last one, I guess it would be pretty cool to be the last one to do something in the game," he said Sunday night after leading the New York Mets over the Chicago Cubs 8-3.

It was vintage Glavine, mixing pitches and fooling hitters, all the things that over the years made him one of baseball's best pitchers. With nervous family and friends looking on, Glavine left with a five-run lead after 6 1-3 innings, and New York's bullpen held on.

"It wasn't a dazzling performance in terms of striking people out. It was an exercise in hitting my spots and changing speeds and letting the guys behind me do their work," he said, a look of relief on his face.

Glavine (10-6) became the first 300-game winner since former Atlanta teammate Greg Maddux reached the milestone in 2004 while with the Cubs. "I think the feeling right now is probably relief," Glavine said. "At some point in time, I don't know when, the historic side of it will sink in. I know the company I'm in, and I'm as proud as can be to be in that company."

The club might be closed. Randy Johnson has 284 wins but back problems have plagued him and he turns 44 in September.

"I'm not saying I want to be the last one," Glavine said. "I would love for someone to have this feeling and this sense of accomplishment."

The 41-year-old Glavine, only the fifth lefty to win 300, capped a momentous weekend in baseball. On Saturday, Barry Bonds hit his 755th homer to tie Hank Aaron's career mark and Alex Rodriguez became the youngest player to reach 500 homers. Glavine said he spoke with baseball commissioner Bud Selig, who also spoke with A-Rod but didn't get in contact with Bonds.

In his first try for No. 300, Glavine left with a one-run lead at Milwaukee only to watch his bullpen blow it. Wife Christine Glavine, who had slumped in her seat at Miller Park, wiped tears from her eyes as Billy Wagner retired Mike Fontenot on a grounder for the final out at Wrigley Field.

Glavine appreciated the warm reception he received at Wrigley Field. Mets fans chanted his name after the game "Tom-mee Glavine!" as he met his family. "It was pretty special moment to be able to hug all those guys on Wrigley Field like I did tonight," he said. "There's no way I could express my gratitude for everything they've done."

Before a crowd of 41,599 on a muggy night, and with flashbulbs popping all over the old neighborhood park, Glavine allowed two runs and six hits, struck out one and walked one. He left after Angel Pagan doubled on his 102nd pitch, getting a high five from manager Willie Randolph on the mound and a standing ovation as he left the field.

Guillermo Mota came in and gave up a single to Jason Kendall, Pedro Feliciano then relieved and gave up an RBI grounder to pinch-hitter Jacque Jones. Fontenot's double made it a 5-3 game, bringing on Aaron Heilman, who retired Ryan Theirot on an inning-ending flyout.

Glavine was the third pitcher looking for his 300th win at Wrigley Field in the last five seasons. Roger Clemens (June 7, 2003) and Maddux (Aug. 1, 2004) both failed.

Glavine won his first game with the Braves on Aug. 22, 1987, was a five-time 20-game winner with the Braves and joined Maddux and John Smoltz to give Atlanta one of baseball's most formidable rotations. He captured the NL Cy Young Award in 1991 and 1998, was the MVP of the 1995 World Series and is a 10-time All-Star. He went to the Mets as a free agent after the 2002 season.

Before Glavine, no pitcher had won his 300th game in a Mets uniform, although some 300-game winners pitched with New York — Tom Seaver, Nolan Ryan and Warren Spahn, who won four games in 1965.

The second and third paragraphs of the excerpt detail exactly the way Glavine has pitched his entire career. A "crafty" lefty, he threw just hard enough to set up his array of breaking pitches that, when he was doing well, could seemingly place anywhere he wanted.

A guy at my wage-slavery containment facility is a Mets fan, and when Glavine took the Mets millions after the 2002 season, I looked at their projected outfield of Cliff Floyd, Timo Perez, Jeromy Burnitz and Roger Cedeno and told this guy that the most uttered phrase out of Glavine's mouth would be "Andruw would have caught that" (refering to Andruw Jones and his impeccable defense in center field). As it turned out, I was right. Glavine went from 18 wins in 2002 to 9 in 2003 and with 14 losses had his first losing season since 1990. David Wright and Jose Reyes arrived in 2004, but were inexperienced, and the addition of Mike Cameron helped a little, but not much as Glavine went 11-14, then 13-13 in 2005. The improvements the Mets in the past couple of years have helped get Glavine's record back into line (15-7 in 2006 and 10-6 this season), but one cannot help but wonder if he'd have been able to acheive his milestone last year if he'd stayed in Atlanta.

In any event, 300 wins is a hell of an achievement, so congratulations to Tom Glavine, major league baseball's 23rd 300-game winner.

Barry Bonds hits 755th Career Homer to tie Henry Aaron. A-Rod hits 500th Career Homer.

Barry Bonds hit his 755th career home run yesterday to tie Henry Aaron's all-time major league record. Yahoo News AP wire excerpt:

SAN DIEGO - With a short swing, a half stare and an emphatic clap of his hands, Barry Bonds rounded the bases. After so many days and so many tries, he had finally caught Hammerin' Hank.

High above the field in a private box, baseball commissioner Bud Selig was a reluctant witness to history. Choosing to overlook the steroid allegations that have dogged the San Francisco slugger, Selig watched Bonds tie Hank Aaron's home run record — his mouth agape, hands stuffed in pockets and nary a cheer on his lips.

No. 755 was a strong shot for all the doubters, an opposite-field drive of 382 feet to left-center, moving Bonds within one swing of having baseball's pinnacle of power all to himself. It came on a 2-1, 91 mph fastball Saturday night.

"This is the hardest thing I've had to do in my entire career," he said. "I had rashes on my head, I felt like I was getting sick at times." And it was a long time coming.

It had been eight days and 28 plate appearances since Bonds hit his 754th home run, and he came out for early batting practice Saturday, hoping to break his slump. He did it quickly, leading off the second inning.

"No matter what anybody thinks of the controversy surrounding this event, Mr. Bonds' achievement is noteworthy and remarkable," Selig said in a statement. Selig said either he or a representative would attend the Giants' next few games "out of respect for the tradition of the game, the magnitude of the record and the fact that all citizens in this country are innocent until proven guilty."

Bonds said he hadn't spoken to Selig, but welcomed him anytime. Aaron was not in attendance. The Hall of Famer had previously said he would not follow the chase in person. "It's a little bit different than any other milestone I've ever gone through," Bonds said. "It's Hank Aaron. I can't explain the feeling of it, it's just Hank Aaron."

Bonds drew a mixed reaction from the crowd at Petco Park after he homered off Clay Hensley. Several fans held up asterisk signs and the San Francisco slugger was booed as he headed to left field at the end of the inning. Bonds walked his next three times up and left the game in the eighth for a pinch-runner. He raised his helmet with his left hand, then his right, and drew a standing ovation from many fans who chanted his name.

"I want to thank the fans. They have been outstanding," Bonds said. "It's been a fun ride. I really appreciate the way San Diego handled it and the way their fans handled it." The Padres won 3-2 in 12 innings.

Bonds said he would not start Sunday, which would give him a chance to break the record at home beginning Monday night.


As if Bonds tying Aaron wasn't enough, Alex Rodriguez hit his 500th career homer yesterday to become the youngest player to reach the milestone. Yahoo News AP wire excerpt:

NEW YORK - Alex Rodriguez leaned to his right and watched the ball as it sailed toward the foul pole in left. When it stayed true, he raised his hands in the air — the long wait for No. 500 was finally over.

Rodriguez became the youngest player in major league history to hit 500 home runs, connecting on the first pitch he saw Saturday to end a 10-day wait.

The 32-year-old Rodriguez stood at home plate for a second after his first-inning drive off Kyle Davies, waiting to see where it would land. "I haven't hit one in so long I didn't know if it was going to be foul," he said. "Where that ball started, last week that ball would've hooked foul probably about 20 feet."

A-Rod spoke with Yankees owner George Steinbrenner and commissioner Bud Selig after the game. Selig was in San Diego and watched Barry Bonds tie Hank Aaron's career home run record with a second-inning shot off Padres starter Clay Hensley.

Rodriguez homered eight days after his birthday and surpassed Jimmie Foxx (32 years, 338 days) as the youngest player to reach 500. A-Rod is the 22nd player to reach the mark, the second this season behind Frank Thomas — Manny Ramirez and Jim Thome might get there this year, too.

Analysis: I'm not going to touch the steroid issue. At 6-foot-6 and 170 pounds I know as much about body-building as George W. Bush knows about diplomacy. All I know is that Ted Williams said that the most difficult thing to do in sports was to hit a baseball. He was right, and Barry and A-Rod are two of the best at this and should be proud of their accomplishments (provided that they were achieved honestly, for which we must await proof).

Bonds haters will simply have to wait until late 2014 or early 2015 for A-Rod to pass him (but then what do we do about the A-Rod haters?). Let's do some projecting: Give A-Rod 15 more homers by the end of this season. 515. To get to 800, which is a real possibility, he needs 285, or 40.7 a year for the next seven seasons. Barring injury, or a sharp decline in production, that would make him the all-time home run king at age 39 or 40.

To sum up, I offer my humble congratulations to these men. The Bonds watch continues.

Judge Rules About That Which Valerie Plame Can/Cannot Write in Memoir

In yet another example of up being down, left being right and petty douchebaggery being called noble, a district judge has ruled that Valerie Plame cannot reveal the dates she worked for the CIA because that information was never declassified. Yahoo News Reuters excerpt:

NEW YORK (Reuters) - The ex-spy whose unmasking led to the conviction of Vice President Dick Cheney's top aide cannot disclose the dates she worked for the CIA because the details were never declassified, a federal judge has ruled.

The decision, made public on Friday by U.S. District Judge Barbara Jones, was a victory for the U.S. Central Intelligence Agency, which sought to block former agent Valerie Plame Wilson from including the dates in her upcoming memoir, "Fair Game."

Plame, along with publisher Simon & Schuster, filed a lawsuit in May against Mike McConnell, the U.S. director of national intelligence, and CIA Director Michael Hayden, seeking to stop the CIA from interfering with publication of her book.

"The information at issue was properly classified, was never declassified, and has not been officially acknowledged by the CIA," the judge said.

Plame's cover as a CIA agent was blown when her identity was leaked to reporters and appeared in a newspaper column in 2003, shortly after her husband, former Ambassador Joseph Wilson, emerged as an Iraq war critic.

Cheney's former chief of staff, Lewis "Scooter" Libby, was convicted of lying and obstruction of justice in the investigation of the leak. President George W. Bush commuted Libby's 2 1/2-year prison sentence last month.

Plame's suit argued that the CIA released her dates of service in an unclassified letter sent to her in 2006 by the agency, and that the agency "now purports to classify or reclassify Ms. Wilson's pre-2002 federal service dates" so it cannot be published in her memoir.

CIA spokesman Mark Mansfield said the letter had been "an administrative error" because it contained classified information.

Adam Rothberg, a spokesman for Simon & Schuster, said the company was considering all available legal options and is moving forward with the publication of the memoir.

You've gotta love that nonsense about the unclassified letter being an "administrative error" as justification for the CIA's effort to stop this book from being published. How convenient. Through sheer incompetence they led Plame to believe that this information was not classified, but now they ask for a do-over, and an apparently Bush-friendly judge has given them what they want.

Okay, let me get this straight: Bob Novak, Judith Miller and Tim Russert, among others, helped publicize Plame's status as a covert operative, such information having been given directly and indirectly by Scooter Libby, yet Plame herself cannot discuss such matters on her own terms? Can you say "bullshit"? The immortal words of Elvis Costello come to mind: "I used to be disgusted, now I try to be amused..." Well, the amusement at what this joke of an administration continues to get away with is long gone, since it is clear that Bush, Cheney and the rest of these criminals will never be held accountable for anything they do. I wish January 20th 2009 would hurry up and get here...

Red Sox Bolster Bullpen with Gagne Trade

Just before the major league baseball trade deadline (for non-waiver deals) passed, the Red Sox made a move to bolster their bullpen by acquiring relief ace Eric Gagne from the Rangers. Yahoo News AP wire excerpt:

CLEVELAND - Eric Gagne's comeback has landed him a new role on a new team: helping the Red Sox close out the Yankees. Gagne, pitching like his old self following two elbow operations and back surgery, was acquired by Boston for the stretch run on Tuesday from the Texas Rangers, who also unloaded first baseman Mark Teixeira to Atlanta in a seven-player swap.

Once one of baseball's premier closers, Gagne waived the no-trade clause in his contract to join a Boston bullpen that already had two All-Star relievers: closer Jonathan Papelbon and setup man Hideki Okajima.

But the Red Sox, who entered Tuesday leading the AL East by eight games over New York, didn't want to take any chances of blowing their big lead and acquired Gagne to bolster the back end of their bullpen after consecutive implosions last weekend by Papelbon and Manny Delcarmen.

Gagne will serve as Papelbon's primary setup man and will close on days Papelbon needs rest.

"We actually love our bullpen," Boston manager Terry Francona said of his relievers, who have the lowest ERA (2.74) in the majors. "I think it just got a lot better. Papelbon, Okajima and Gagne — these are guys that you don't match up. You just let them pitch really good baseball."

Shortly after acquiring Gagne, Boston announced that reliever Brendan Donnelly will have season-ending surgery on his right elbow.

The Red Sox sent left-hander Kason Gabbard and minor league outfielders David Murphy and Engel Beltre to the Rangers, who were the busiest team in the majors before Tuesday's 4 p.m. EDT non-waiver trade deadline.
Texas also will cover part of what remains on Gagne's contract.

He was guaranteed $2.5 million in additional money by Boston to accept the trade, raising his 2007 earnings to $9.85 million. Gagne already had a $6 million base salary and had earned $1.35 million in performance bonuses. As part of the deal, he agreed to eliminate his remaining performance bonuses, which are based on games finished.

Gagne was on Boston's radar screen last winter before he signing a one-year contract with the Rangers in December after eight successful seasons with the Dodgers. He went 2-0 with a 2.16 ERA and 16 saves for last-place Texas, which began a three-game series in Cleveland 15 1/2 games behind the first-place Los Angeles Angels in the AL West.

The 31-year-old Gagne was a three-time All-Star and won the NL Cy Young Award in 2003 when he saved 55 games for the Dodgers. He had 45 saves in 2004 but was limited to just 14 the following season because of elbow problems that eventually needed surgery. The hard-throwing native of Montreal pitched in only two games last season as he tried to come back from another elbow operation as well as surgery to repair a herniated disk.

From 2002-04, Gagne set a major league record by converting 84 consecutive saves. There were still doubts about his durability, but he has been able to pitch on consecutive days this season, further proof that he's healthy.

The 25-year-old Gabbard went 4-0 with a 3.73 ERA, taking Curt Schilling's spot in the rotation while the right-hander was on the disabled list. Schilling, who was scheduled to make a rehab start on Tuesday in Columbus, Ohio, could be activated later this week.

Murphy, 26, was batting .280 with nine homers and 47 RBIs in 100 games for Triple-A Pawtucket. Beltre, 18, batted .215 with five homers and 13 RBIs for the Gulf Coast Red Sox.

The Sox had damned well better hope he is healthy. If he is, and if he can remain effective, he will undoubtedly help the team preserve late-inning leads as the season heads into the home stretch. Gagne adds a terrific power arm to a bullpen of Papelbon, Delcarmen, Mike Timlin, Hideki Okajima and Javier Lopez. My guess is that Julian Tavarez will likely resume Gabbard's spot in the rotation if Schilling isn't quite ready to come back, at which point he will be back in the bullpen as the second long man with Kyle Snyder.

As for the departing players, Gabbard will be the one that hurts the most. He seems like he'll be a good major league starter with more experience, and if not for Curt Schilling's trip to the DL he would still be in Triple-A honing his skills. A good lefty starter is tough to part with, but the Sox recently brought up Jon Lester, and he has pitched fairly well in his starts since rejoining the big club. As for Murphy, he is an outfielder who had a couple of cups of coffee with the big club this season and last season, but who never truly figured into any future plans. I've never heard of Beltre, so I assume the same applies for him. We still have a few hours to go until the deadline, so we shall see what else Theo Epstein has up his sleeve.

CD Review: Dream Theater - Systematic Chaos

The new Dream Theater CD, Systematic Chaos, has been out for about a month now, and here is my review of this latest offering from these progressive metal giants. Song-by-song:

In the Presence of Enemies, Part I (Prelude/Resurrection) – The first song of the CD clocks in at nine minutes, and begins with the meandering explosiveness that is Dream Theater’s signature style. Guitarist John Petrucci and keyboardist Jordan Rudess engage in some tight interplay as bassist John Myung and drummer Mike Portnoy do more than just find a groove in which to plant themselves. Vocalist James LaBrie doesn’t appear until the 5:15 mark, which sees the song solidify into a theme on religion and the promises it pretends to hold. It is a strong beginning that ends with a flurry from both Petrucci and Rudess.

Forsaken – This is a short (for Dream Theater) song of about five-and-a-half minutes that could be a single except for the fact that commercial radio is a vast wasteland of gutless personalities. The song is a progressive metal power ballad that showcases LaBrie’s vocals soaring over a restrained background. Petrucci fires off a short solo and Rudess supplies plenty of atmosphere with gentle piano and grand orchestral sounds. Myung and Portnoy hold the rhythm down and guide the song throughout.

Constant Motion – This baby is a thumping, stomping monster that more than lives up to its title. LaBrie and mates fire off some aggressive multi-tracked and back-and-forth vocals. About halfway through, Myung and Petrucci slow things down for a few seconds before Petrucci fires off an eastern-tinged solo that leads into Rudess’ spacey keyboard solo. The song then goes back into the original stomp mode through the finish.

The Dark Eternal Night – Begins with a dissonant rhythm from Petrucci and Myung with some mad, pseudo-thrash drumming from Portnoy before LaBrie’s effects-enhanced vocals carve their way into the mix. At about three-and-half minutes the song goes from sinister to a carnival ride that lasts for about three more minutes. This passage is mostly indulgent silliness that includes Rudess providing some piano sounds that are reminiscent of silent movie chase scene themes. It ends with Petrucci taking a blistering solo that seems completely out of place given what just preceded it, though Portnoy does a terrific job of punctuating the changes with his drumming. The song then goes back into dissonant mode and ends with Petrucci slowing down into a heavy, Sabbath-like grove over which he plays some spacey effects as the song fades out. If not for the middle section, this song could be a metal classic.

Repentance – A slow, sad song about regret. This one clocks in at nearly eleven minutes. LaBrie sings the words with longing as the sedate melody guides him. After a semi-acoustic start, Petrucci plays a bluesy electric solo about five minutes into the song before what is apparently the Dream Theater Repentance Choir takes over for about 90 seconds before a time change that brings on wordless vocals, distorted bass and acoustic guitar. Rudess comes in with some underlying keyboards to add to the grim atmosphere. At the nine-and-a-half minute mark, another Repentance Choir member recites some spoken word warnings/wisdom as the song ends.

Prophets of War – This song starts slowly, but the tension builds with some interesting effects with LaBrie’s voice and that are reminiscent of Queen. The spoken word feature comes in here at the four-minute mark. The song seems to be a warning about what we are doing in Iraq.

The Ministry of Lost Souls – This song clocks in at almost fifteen minutes. After a grandiose opening that lasts nearly a minute, a change with Petrucci’s semi-acoustic guitar sets up LaBrie’s longing vocal for a ballad-like ride that lasts more than seven minutes. An abrupt change comes in with some heavy guitars and drums and playful keyboard work. The heaviness escalates with more time changes and keyboard fills and a scary solo. Petrucci fires of a nimble solo of his own as the rythym stays hot. Petrucci and Rudess then play a harmony solo over Portnoy’s frantic drumming as the main theme returns (at nearly the eleven-minute mark) with Petrucci punctuating it with his guitar before things get quiet for a few beats with some soft piano under the vocals befor again coming back to the main melody. Petrucci plays the song out with a crying solo.

In the Presence of Enemies, Part 2 (Heretic/Slaughter of the Damned) – The longest song on the CD at sixteen-and-a-half minutes begins with some quiet piano and vocals with some subtle sonic effects that sound like Petrucci on guitar. Myung perks things up a bit at the two-and-a-half minute mark by adding a heavy bass line to the mix. A minute later Petrucci comes in with a slamming rhythm that signals a change in emphasis that sends LaBrie’s voice into sinister mode. About six minutes in, the tempo picks up to a gallop, almost like Iron Maiden at their best. Three minutes later, a time change comes in with Rudess adding some piano and other keys to the mix for a beat until another quick time change comes in with Petrucci’s guitar and Portnoy’s drums paving the way. They are soon joined by Rudess punctuating the sound with his keyboard effects. At the eleven-minute mark Petrucci plays a chopping solo followed by a solo from Rudess. Petrucci then plays a multi-tracked solo before Rudess takes the tempo down and back to the main melody with his spacey keyboard tones. LaBrie comes back in with his sinister mode vocals as the band winds it with a bang.

I give this effort an A-minus. The chops, as always, are top-notch, and the power, precision and passion shine through to the point where even the more indulgent passages, such as the one cited in Dark Eternal Night seem more like minor inconveniences than true distractions from the music. If you are a Dream Theater follower you probably already own this CD, and if you are new to this band, as a few co-workers of mine were, you might just become converted as they have been after listening to the sounds these guys were able to make. This is a great collection of music, so go out to your local Newbury Comics and purchase a copy. You will not be disappointed!

World's Tallest Man Married in China

The world's tallest man, a seven-foot nine-inch man from China, was married yesterday in a traditional Mongolian ceremony. Yahoo News Reuters excerpt:

ERDOS, China (Reuters) - The world's tallest man married a woman two-thirds his size and almost half his age on Thursday in a traditional Mongolian ceremony sponsored by at least 15 companies hoping to cash in on his fame.

Bao Xishun, 56, a 2.36-metre (7-ft, 9-inch) herdsman from China's vast Inner Mongolia region, was carried to his wedding on the back of a mobile yurt pulled by camels at the Genghis Khan Holiday Resort on the grasslands near Erdos city.

Are you shitting me? The Genghis Khan Holiday Resort? And what holidays could they possibly celebrate? Caravan Slaughter Day? Village Burning Week? Still, it could have been worse. Bao could have hailed from the Kazakhstan region and might have had his ceremony at the Attila the Hun Sports Multiplex Casino and Hotel, but only if the affair did not bump up against Captive Enslavement Month.

Hundreds of people, some travelling for hours, turned up to see Bao wed saleswoman Xia Shujuan, a mere 1.68 metres (5 ft 6 inches) tall and just 29 years old.

Bao was confirmed as the world's tallest living man by Guinness World Records last year. He overtook the previous holder, Radhouane Charbib of Tunisia, by just 2 mm.

After a career in the army, where he was recruited for a basketball team, he returned to Inner Mongolia. He now herds livestock and hires himself out for publicity stunts.

In December, Bao saved the lives of two dolphins by reaching deep into their stomachs with his 1.06-metre long arm to pull out pieces of plastic, according to Chinese media.

All kidding aside, I get a lot of this stuff since I am six-foot-six, and most of the women with whom I have been involved have been about a foot shorter than I am. People often ask how I can date such short women, and the answer is that they look shorter than they are simply because I am taller than most men. These women are much closer to the average height than I am, but the contrast is often too much for people to handle without feeling like they must make idiotic comments that they think are wildly original. On occasion I have dated women in the five-ten to six-foot range, but the simple truth is that if height was the only consideration then I'd be waiting a long(er) time between dates.

So good luck to Bao and Xia! And may the snarky comments be few and far between for you.

Full Story