Monday, August 01, 2005

Catch-Up Time, Again. Bush Slides Bolton In (Claims Fit Was "Comfortable"). Manny Stays. Palmeiro "Caught". Random Ten.

I'm back, after having been away from the keyboard due to 1. A power outage after some severe thunderstorms. 2. A disgusting loss in my wage-slavery organization's latest softball game. 3. Minor car trouble. Issues 1 and 3 have been solved. Issue 2 will be put to the test twice this week as tomorrow night we take on the first place team, then, on Thursday, we take on the last place team. Not so ironically, my team is almost dead in the middle of the standings.

In my absence, the Roberts nomination to the Supreme Court remains a festering boil, as does the Karl Rove situation. And in a not-so-shocking move, President Petty Little Tyrant decided to give John "You'll Get Nothing And Like It!" Bolton a recess nomination to be the new Minister of Cruelty to the United Nations. Way to stick by those principles George Dubya. Asshole.

Here's a quote from the Chief Bungler In Charge: Mr Bush said at the White House announcement ceremony: “This post is too important to leave vacant any longer, especially during a war and a vital debate about UN reform.” Calling Mr Bolton “one of America’s most talented and successful diplomats”, Mr Bush said “his mission is now to help the UN reform itself”. The President added that Mr Bolton had been supported by a majority of the Senate, but that “partisan delaying tactics by a handful of senators” had denied his nominee the job.

You've gotta love that bullshit about "partisan delaying tactics". Hey Bunnypants, you're the pot, the Democrats are the collective kettle, and you are melanin enhanced. Here's the full story link:,,11069-1717334,00.html

Oh, and speaking of infantile behavior, apparently the Red Sox were able to round up a good supply of Pampers (TM) for slugger/idiot savant Manny Ramirez, who, it turns out, will not be traded to the Mets. That is probably a good thing. Manny is a reliable run-producer, and he isn't a malicious douchebag like Gary Sheffield, he's just living in Manny-land most of the time, but still, would it kill a guy making 20 million Greenspans a year to run from the batter's box to first base in less than ten minutes?

In other breaking baseball news, Baltimore Orioles first baseman Rafael Palmeiro was suspended for ten days for violating Major League Baseball's steroid policy. I'd be more inclined to rush to Palmeiro's defense if not for the "I did not knowingly take steroids" line he uttered when the story broke. Unfortunately, a lot of people will read that as a cop out on Palmeiro's part, but keep in mind, that nobody outside of Omissioner Bud Selig's inner circle knows exactly what substances are ackshully* listed as prohibited. There are a hell of a lot of dietary supplements, vitamins and even cold remedies that give chemical signatures that show close matches to those of steroids in these tests, so we really don't know what is what in this case.

*Homage to J. Danforth Quayle (R-Imbecile)

I think it sucks for Palmeiro, an underrated, overlooked star for much of his career. And how about that timing? The joy of having collected career hit number 3,000 a mere two weeks ago as this ruling was announced? Great. Now, we can look forward to more brainless articles like that written by Skip Bayless of ESPN in which he knocked Palmeiro as a lucky freak for having played a long time to collect his numbers. Check out this idiotic noise from his July 15th ESPN article, written after Palmeiro got his 3,000th knock: "Too many seam-headed voters are too imprisoned by milestone numbers. For them, 3,000 plus 500 equals first ballot." Yeah, no shit Dick Tracy. Want to know why that is? It is because more than 10,000 men have played big league baseball, and ONLY FOUR HAVE ACHIEVED THAT MILESTONE COMBINATION!!! Full article link:
The article has a lot of other complete and utter nonsense that has little to due with the main topic I'm discussing about HOF qualifications that I will tackle in a future post.

Here's a quote from the ESPN story about the suspension. The speaker is arbitrator Shayam Das: "The evidence in this record is not sufficient for the player to meet his burden of establishing that his positive test result was not due to his fault or negligence," the panel said in a statement released by the union. The panel also said "our decision does not equate to a finding or belief that Rafael Palmeiro -- whose testimony in many respects was quite compelling -- was untruthful in his testimony." If that reads in such a manner to make one think that Major League Baseball has less than a slam-dunk in this case, it is because, well, it doesn't! What kind of brainless wording is that to basically say that Palmeiro isn't truly guilty, but we should charge him with a violation anyway? Here's the story link:

Another potential nastiness is that, in a sidebar story by Roger Cossack, ESPN's ironically named legal analyst, we read this: Will he be prosecuted for lying before Congress? A grant of immunity means that you cannot be prosecuted for what you say you have done in the past -- as long as you tell the truth. However, there is no immunity for lying. If it can be shown that Palmeiro's use of steroids occurred before his testimony, he could be prosecuted for perjury. If it can only be shown that the steroid use occurred after his testimony, he could not be prosecuted on that basis. To quote Wayne Campbell: "Thanks a pantload, Chet!" However, even in this dark cloud for Palmeiro there is a silver lining, namely that President Hissy Fit should keep in mind that there is no immunity for lying to Congress. Oh wait, I forgot, the sacless Democrats won't touch that with a 3,048 cm (ten-foot) pole (see how these things all interconnect?).

To end on a musical note, I'll give you a "Random Ten" list of songs to which I'm currently grooving, both at my wage-slavery containment facility, and here at home. Maybe this will pique some curiosity. Hell, it's worked for TBogg (among the other great things he delivers in his posts). Here goes:

1. Destructive Anger, Elis
2. Dopamine, Iommi (Tony Iommi and Glenn Hughes)
3. Razorblade Kiss, H.I.M.
4. Eccentric, After Forever
5. Emerald, Thin Lizzy
6. Nomad, Iron Maiden
7. Limbo, Westworld
8. Written In The Sand, The Michael Schenker Group
9. Never In All My Days, The North Mississippi All Stars
10. The Palace, Edenbridge

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