Lance Armstrong Versus Dick Pound!
Seven-time Tour de France winning bicyclist Lance Armstrong is once again in the position of having to defend himself against doping allegations. Among the investigators is a fellow named Dick Pound. Yahoo News AP Wire excerpt:
Even facing the most serious drug allegations of his career, Lance Armstrong says he sleeps well at night. The seven-time Tour de France champion continues to try to beat back reports in the French media that he used a banned blood booster in his first tour victory in 1999. On Thursday, he lashed out at the French lab that produced the findings in question.
There's a setup here and I'm stuck in the middle of it," Armstrong told The Associated Press. "I absolutely do not trust that laboratory," he said.
The French sports daily L'Equipe reported Tuesday that new exams on six urine samples Armstrong provided during the 1999 tour resulted in positive results for the red blood cell-booster EPO.
Armstrong's comment came after Dick Pound, head of the World Anti-Doping Agency, said officials had received the lab results and would review them. Armstrong also said that while Pound might trust the lab that tested the samples, "I certainly don't."
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One has to wonder if this investigator's name is what is driving this latest examination of Mr. Armstrong's chemical makeup. But let's not go there. Instead, why don't we focus on the fact that Armstrong is arguably the most poked, prodded and tested athlete in the world. Why then, after every previous allegation of this type has shown Armstrong to be clean, should we expect a different outcome this time? Besides, the man is retiring. Mister Pound, and all the other Lance-beaters should just let it go already.
Man Suspected of Smut Attack on Over 300 Cars
This story comes from Yahoo's Odd News section and deals with a man suspected of scratching hundreds of cars with phallus-like gouges. Reuters excerpt:
BERLIN (Reuters) - German police have arrested a 31-year-old man they caught vandalizing two cars by scratching large penis-shaped gouges into them and said they believe he may be responsible for similar markings found on hundreds of others.
A police spokesman in the western city of Bochum said on Friday the man was under investigation for vandalizing around 330 vehicles in the region over the last few months, most of which had also been marked with the same penis insignia.
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That's quite a resume this guy is building. I am reminded of the scene in the 1982 film Fast Times At Ridgemont High (Mr. Hand, where are you now that we truly need you!) in which the character of ticket-scalper Mike Damone (played by Robert Romanus) knocked up Stacy Hamilton (played by Jennifer Jason Leigh), then refused to take responsibility. Stacy's friend, Linda Barrett (played by the achingly gorgeous Phoebe Cates) decided to get revenge by spray-painting the words "Little Prick" on Damone's locker and car. Maybe this perp decided to "one-up" this punking as a tribute. Mr. Dick Pound was unavailable for comment...
Clutch Grabwell To Rock Worcester!
Tomorrow night, Clutch Grabwell will rock the Plantation Club in beautiful Worcester, Massachusetts. This band must be seen to be believed. Featuring a wide, energetic mix of originals (like the heavy funk of Slow Train, the slamming Rising Son and the infectious R&B groove of Talkin' To Myself) and covers (how do the songs Gozilla by Blue Oyster Cult, Surrender by Cheap Trick and Mustang Sally by Wilson Pickett grab youse?), this band never fails to deliver the goods.
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