What Happens in Vegas Stays in Vegas, At Least Two Feet Away...

A ridiculous ruling now prohibits erotic dancers in Las Vegas from touching their customers in ways that can be interpreted as "raunchy" or "sexual" in nature. Yahoo News Reuters excerpt:

SAN FRANCISCO (Reuters) - A court has upheld a Las Vegas city regulation barring erotic dancers from raunchy physical contact with their customers, in a ruling that runs counter to the gambling city's sinful reputation.

Nevada's Supreme Court on Thursday reversed two lower court rulings that found the regulation improperly curtailed "expressive conduct" protected by the U.S. Constitution's First Amendment.

The high court judges said that even if the constitutional amendment did apply, its protection was not absolute, and added the city measure helps curtail prostitution, sexually transmitted disease, drug offenses and criminal activity.
The city rule bars dancers from physical contact of a sexual nature with customers.

The decision echoes a ruling by the 9th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals last year that backed a California city's regulation requiring at least two feet (0.7 meter) distance between erotic dancers and the audience.

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People, people! What the hell do you expect when you walk into one of these establishments? Games of Gin Rummy? Christ, the whole reason for going to such places is to engage in "raunchy physical contact". Look at it as a way to conduct oneself "expressively". Anything else would be silly, like Bill Clinton's idiotic "I never inhaled" nonsense when asked if he'd ever smoked pot. Hunter Thompson nailed that one. He said (paraphrasing): "Why the hell else would you smoke the shit? That's be like me saying "I eat LSD, but I don't swallow it'..."

Not for nothing, but in October 2005, as part of the bachelor party for the distinguished Ken Kanniff, Connecticut's Most Wanted Gangsta Man, our posse ended up at Scores, where I was immediately greeted by the captivating Sweet Lil' Shelby. She and her colleagues then proceeded to provide us with an evening of stimulating entertainment that included many lap dances, an activity that is certain to be viewed in a dim light according to this ruling. And sure, these activities would most likely be frowned upon by some on the Christian Right (like good old Ted Haggard, at least until his gay hooker turned him in), but neither we boys, nor the girls ever crossed the line, despite the fact that the two-foot rule was in constant violation while we were there. In fact, we were so well behaved, that one of the young ladies, upon hearing that a couple of the our crew members were planning a move to the area, offered her services as part of her full-time wage-slavery gig, which is real estate brokerage.

Look, I know there are a lot of clowns out there who like to paw the girls. I also know that there are a lot of girls who grind that little extra bit harder to get the guys to pay for more dances, but I just don't see why this was ever a matter that should have ever seen a courtroom. In my distantly receding youth, I played guitar in a heavy metal band that would occasionally play in a place that was several notches below Scores on the "ambiance" scale. We didn't get many song requests from the patrons, if you acquire my drift. In the one summer I did this, I saw some shit go down that you simply would not believe. Let me tell you, when the interactions between patron and provider got "blurry", the staff dealt with it quickly and severely. And they were somehow able to do so without needing a "two-foot" rule to know when and when not to act.